’Twas the Night Before Vampires’ Christmas: A Parody Poem

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And, if it did, you can bet my ass would be doing plenty of stirring, to say the least. And secondly, hello? The stockings were hung By the chimney with care In hopes that St. Those things are huge. And they sound British, so the shipping alone probably negates the savings. And, seriously, if he ever tries to go to sleep wearing a kerchief, I will Gilligan-slap him with my cap.

Geez, Santa. Thanks a lot, Santa. Now I need to get to Home Depot the day after Christmas to replace my shudders. And, apparently, my sash.

What aisle are the sashes on? In the early days, they used stuff like Lycos and WebCrawler. When what to my wondering Eyes should appear But a miniature sleigh Any eight tiny reindeer. Whoa, maybe I need to back off the pain meds.

'Twas the Night Before Christmas / Christmas Poem / Acting with Andy / Comedy /Parody

This is way worse that swaying fan blades. And, more importantly, where the hell is Rudolph?

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But little? Dash away? Oh, and please get the reindeer off the porch. Uncool, Mr. Moore, uncool. We, New Orleanians, do not want to be concerned with hurricanes on Christmas Eve. Consider them my gift. Again, with the coursers? A bound??? As Mrs. Claus, I would be so pissed at having to get out ash and soot stains every year.

You know how tired that poor woman probably is by the 26th? Santa, ever consider an upgrade?

The Twelve Days Of Christmas

I found this fly red track suit you might be interested in. It sounds like you have a terrible case of eczema right now, Santa. Very common for this time of year. As a baby, Santa Claus is found orphaned in the Forest of Burzee and is adopted by a wood nymph. When Santa becomes an adult, he goes to liv When Santa becomes an adult, he goes to live in the This adaptation remains true to the original novel and contains all the major events that made Little Women an American classic for both children and adults. The play opens on Christma A mysterious stranger arrives at a village where everyone is grumpy, gloomy, and just plain glum.

Adapted from the short s After years of putting up with unruly children, deadbeat elves, and pompous reindeer, Mrs. Claus is ready to put a halt to Christmas and show everyone who is really in charge at the No Based on a true story, this heart-warming play brings forth the true meaning of the holiday season. Sound asleep, Remy and Vida awaken when they hear a loud crash.

As Remy Abandoned by her family, Cleo the cat, hungry and cold, meets a beagle named Ralph who invites her in for a bit of food and a warm catnap.

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Even though Ralph is a self-professed cat hater, h This is one Dickens of a tale! This modern-day redneck Scrooge lives in a single-wide trailer where he counts his money from his bizness running some stalls in a Florida f Celebrate the holidays with the Bubbas, a lovable redneck family, as they head even further south for another hilarious adventure!

All goes well until Gabby, a new reindeer, charms the hooves off of Sant When Stacey arrives in Rome to rendezvous with her boyfriend, Michael, she unexpectedl The leader of a band of naughty ninjas is determined to seek revenge against Santa for having received a lump of coal for Christmas instead of a Red Radio Flyer Wagon and A grumpy substitute teacher moonlighting as a shopping mall Santa Claus gets trapped in a mall elevator with an overly cheerful Elf, a Christmas shoplifter, a cell-phone addicted ca When Santa forgets to put on his shoes before he sets out to deliver presents on Christmas Eve, his elves become very worried.

When three magi notice a star announcing the birth of a new king, they load up their camels and set out across the desert bearing gifts.


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Sammy, the smallest of the camels, yearns But a power-hungry alien, Fist Art, a divorced father of three, and Rhonda, a widow with two sons, have eloped, purchased a new house, and are looking forward to moving in together and living like one big happy f On Christmas Eve, Cindy asks Miss Grace to help her find her favorite ballerina doll, which was accidentally sold at a garage sale.

A Dieter's Night Before Christmas.


  1. Siete reglas del storytelling, Las (Spanish Edition).
  2. Transcendentalism A New Revelation.
  3. About Brian A. Klems;
  4. A Facebook Night Before Christmas. A Hippie Night Before Christmas. An Intellectual Night Before Christmas. A Lawyer's Night Before Christmas. Whereas, on or about the night prior to Christmas, there did occur at a certain improved piece of real property hereinafter "the House". A Lovecraft Night Before Christmas. The Night Before Hanukkah. A Redneck Night Before Christmas. A Texas Night Before Christmas.

    ‘Twas the night of Halloween – The World of Colin

    David Emery is an internet folklore expert, and debunker of urban legends, hoaxes, and popular misconceptions. He currently writes for Snopes. Nearly everyone can recite the opening lines of "A Visit From St. Nicholas" by heart. Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse


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